Not everyone would think of forgiveness as something necessary to improve oneself. It is likely that in all relationships, at one point or another, one will feel pain, disappointment, hurt, embarrassment or even shame. This occurs in relationships of all sorts, romantic or not. Anger is a secondary emotion. No one feels angry first but rather anger is a reaction to an event. For example, if your manager implies that you are inadequate in front of others at your company, first you might feel embarrassed. Then, you become angry. But, forgiving your manager is important. Let’s dig deeper.
Forgiveness is important for personal growth.
Refusing to forgive someone can deter you from your own goals. If you are angry with someone, the anger tends to consume your thoughts, leaving no room for personal growth thoughts. Continuing with the manager example, you may feel negatively towards your job after this public remark. You may neglect your tasks because of your emotional state. For as long as the issue goes unresolved, the anger will remain, giving your manager total control over you! Suppressing your emotions will only cause these emotions to be expressed negatively and even at people who were not even part of the situation.
Creating a forgiveness list helps identify those you need to forgive.
Rank the list of people from most important to least important. Write the reason you need to forgive each person. Each person you do not forgive gets a certain amount of control. Until you learn to forgive the person, that part of you will be lost. Keep in mind forgiveness is a process and not something that happens overnight. But forgiveness is the key to your own happiness.
Forgiving frees you from the past.
Unfortunately it is way too easy for the past to bling your current world of opportunities everywhere. But forgiveness helps to close those chapters of your past. Just because one manager treated you badly, does not mean that all your future managers will. Life can be hard enough; there is no need for excess baggage, which unfortunately can be a default reaction and thus it takes action to get rid of it.
And finally, forgiving prepares you for more meaningful relationships.
Once you are freed from the past, you are ready to develop as a person, which means fostering new, healthy relationships, or repairing the old ones. Once you understand where your feelings are coming from, you can work on repairing the relationship. If the relationship is beyond repair, at least you will feel peace within and won’t feel the need to lash out unexpectedly. And this is why forgiveness is about you. You forgive so that you can be a better version of yourself. Get your power back through forgiveness.